White Trash

I have been spending a lot of time on Town Lake this summer. Not just on the trail as usual, but actually out on the water in a scull or a kayak. And I love it. It's such a fresh and different perspective of the whole city. I love seeing the dogs coming at me as they chase balls and sticks by Auditorium Shores and the undersides of the bridges I've crossed over hundreds of times. I like seeing the skyline of our little city rising up from the water and shoreline trees. I can see the runners and bikers next to or above me along the way. And it's really cool to be among the snakes and birds and turtles and fish that have their own life on and in the water.

But what I don't like is the trash. And there's so much of it floating in the water and all along the shoreline. I suppose it blows in from overflowing garbage cans on windy days. Some is probably deposited by careless boaters. I wonder if it starts in Lake Travis and Lake Austin before it washes into Town Lake.

Most of it is white. Either because it started out white or has been bleached out by the powerful rays of the sun over time until it ends up white. Whatever its color or origin, it's ugly and out of place in this gem of a natural area that we are fortunate enough to have smack dab in the middle of our city. Maybe it's inevitable precisely because it is in the middle of an urban area.

Anyway, I have a habit of picking up any trash in my path as I paddle or row by. I'll put it in my boat and take it back to the dock with me where I can throw it away. I don't go out of my way to get to each item of trash I see, but if it's along my trajectory, I pick it up. Yesterday I returned from a paddle with three water bottles, one (plastic) vodka bottle, a beer can, a Frito bag, a styrofoam cup, a plastic cup, a shoe, and a plastic grocery bag in which I put everything before I threw it away at the dock.

Probably the thing I love best about Austin is its eclecticism. I guess I'm an explorer by nature and I absolutely love looking around and discovering cool new things. Sometimes it's a new restaurant or bar I haven't tried yet or it can be a new park or trail or neighborhood or band. Each has its own character and each feels like a new little treasure. Many of my friends who have always lived in Austin have never even heard of, much less been to, some of the places I've discovered. I've been here now for almost 5 years and I'm still exploring and coming across cool new little finds.

Yesterday, on the lake, I found a new one. I paddled from Mopac to Longhorn Dam. Just before the dam is a small island in the middle of Town Lake. As I approached the island, I heard a loud cacophony coming from the trees and bushes there. As I hugged the island's shoreline, I could see that it was absolutely thick with what must have been hundreds if not thousands of these really cool birds. They looked like small herons, but they were white with tan on their heads. I'm not sure what kind they are, but they're not egrets and certainly aren't your average seagull. They were really cool and they were everywhere all over this island - each tree brach was packed with them. I didn't notice any other kind of bird there either, just these white heron-looking ones. It was as if they had staked out this island as their very own.

I watched them for a while before I set off to paddle back to my starting point. And on the way back, I thought about how odd it is - the juxtaposition between all those white birds and all that white trash on Town Lake

Canine World Cup

Otis longs for the day when there's a canine World Cup.


He often finds himself thinking about how, when that day comes, he will lead the Labradors to certain victory.


Paddington, on the other hand, is rather indifferent.


You see, he is much more of a hoops (or even tennis) man.

Paradox

I want you.
What? You want me back?
Oh. Well, now I'm not so sure...

I wish for intimacy, but I won't let you in.
I need companionship, but crave being alone.
I seek perfection, but won't be outdone.
Please leave me messages even though I don't feel like calling you back.
You have to be dynamic even though lately I'm too tired to keep up.

My mind is made up. But then again...

I want a better life, but I love my life now.
Would it be better with you?
Will I ever let myself find out?

What am I looking for anyway?
Does it exist?
Even if it does, will it make me happier?
Will I find it?
Do I really want to?
Have I already?

An Incomplete Truth

I had the day off today for Juneteenth day.* Seriously. Well, I was supposed to have the day off, but I agreed to take a project for someone else, so I ended up working for 5 hours. But I get comp time for it so that's cool. Anyway, after I left the office, I met some friends at the Alamo to see Al Gore's new movie, "An Inconvenient Truth". I had been curious to see him and see what he had to say and also to see what it would be like to watch a feature-length film of a slide show about global warming.

And I have to say that overall I thought it was really well done. Al Gore comes across as this sympathetic and passionate (yes, you heard me right - Al Gore - passionate) crusader who is fighting the good fight, largely on his own. His purpose seems to be born of true altruism and concern rather than politics and he manages to exude substantially more charisma as a lecturer than he did as a presidential candidate. He did a great job of explaining the phenomenon of global warming in a way that can be easily understood by even the biggest dunderhead; refuting alternate theories that argue global warming is not even an issue; and articulating why it is significant to everyone all over the planet NOW. For all those things, I give him an A.

But I left the theater feeling incredibly frustrated because of what he failed to do. (I also left feeling super cold - why are theaters always so over-airconditioned? That just adds to global warming, btw). Anyway, what was so frustrating to me was the fact that he did such a good job making his case that global warming is an enormous and acute problem that must be and can be rectified NOW if people (yes, you) wake up, accept the truth, and DO something, but he didn't follow through to explain specifically what needs to be done. He vaguely alluded to certain things such as using the political process, driving more fuel-efficient cars and less often, and using energy-efficient applicances, but he didn't spend more than a few seconds on just a cursory mention of those things at the end. Then, at the very end, in what seemed like credits, he listed a website (www.climatecrisis.net) and other things that can be done to help with the problem of global warming. The problem with that was that everyone was already leaving the theater. Probably because is was so freakin' cold. But also because that stuff didn't come on until the movie appeared to be over.

So really, Al did a commendably great job of convincing us of the existence and enormity of the problem that is global warming. He got us all riled up about it and primed us to be ready and anxious to do whatever it takes to address this crisis. But he stopped short of giving us the tools to do what needs to be done. It's like finally getting home from the Houston Ikea with your Swedish-named stereo cabinet all excited to put it together only to rip open the box and find out that there's no custom allen wrench or instructions and you're too inept to figure it out for yourself. Okay, that's a bad analogy. Really it wasn't anything like that and I'm not sure why I even thought of that. But still, it was really frustrating.

I wish he had talked more about what people can do. I already try to bike to work when I can (ahem, when I don't have a perpetually flat tire, that is) and I try to turn off lights and use compact fluorescent bulbs and not buy overpackaged stuff, etc. etc. But I know I can do more. And I'm smart enough to be able to figure out other things I can do to help the problem. And I'm interested and engaged enough to do them. But the lowest common denominator in this country is really low. I'm talking scary low. Like, how low can you go? Then look down from there. Granted these people probably won't ever even see this film, but for those who do it would be nice to give them some concrete things to think about as they drive home in their gianormous SUVs. *Sigh*

*written on 6/19.

Running vs. Cycling

I started road riding before I started running. But I love both and have been doing both regularly for a long time now. And I've gone through all of the same phases in each sport. At times, I've been super fast and felt invincible. Other times I've been slow as molasses and it felt like a struggle even then. At times I have enjoyed or even depended on going with friends or groups, but other times I have needed to be by myself. Sometimes I've reveled in the purity of the activity and allowed it to clear my head and cleanse my soul. But I've also let my desire to excel suck the joy out of what I was doing.

Someone asked me once which I like more - running or cycling. I didn't have a ready answer, but it got me thinking... And now, even after some thought, I still can't answer that question because they each offer things that the other doesn't.

I like running because it is simple and, on a good day, can free me like nothing else. Running is just about me and the machine that is my body. Although I have managed to spend a lot of money on running-related gear over the years, the only thing that is really necessary is a good pair of shoes. Well, and a good sports bra. But that's really it. The rest of the "stuff" is entirely optional and in many ways not even recommended. And because running is so simple, it's completely portable. I never pack for a trip without including at least one pair of running shoes in my suitcase. And my best exploring of any place is always done while I'm wearing them.

I guess I must have a bit of masochist in me too because I also really like the aspect of running that forces me to summon up from deep within the vast amounts of sheer will that are required to keep my body going even as my mind does everything in its power to convince me that I can't. It's like a battle within myself and some days it's hard to predict the outcome. But every finish feels like a victory - whether it's a race or a tough hill workout or a recovery run with Otis. Hell, just lacing up my shoes feels like an accomplishment some days. And I'll take it.

I also respect running because it's tough. And there's no cheating or in-between. You can't coast or glide to recover - you're either running or you're not. And the difference between the two is all up to me. I like that. Even though sometimes I hate it.

What about cycling? Although it shares many similarities with running in terms of being an endurance sport that, on a good day, can really help me relax and clear my head, I still think it is more different than it is similar to running. Cycling allows me to travel. Far. And see the world. On my bike. Under my own power. Which is pretty amazing if you think about it.

The longest run I've ever done was 26.2 miles. I will rarely bother even going for a ride that is less than 30 miles. I can cover 100 miles on my bike in about 6 hours. I can see a lot in 100 miles.

It's undeniable that cycling is more complicated than running in terms of the equipment required. And consequently, it is more expensive and there are greater opportunities for obstacles such as flat tires, broken chains, and wrecks that can ruin a good ride or worse. But I still marvel at the simplicity of a bike. And I love that I can travel on my own time in my own direction at my own speed without burning any fossil fuels or making any noise. It's just me and the road and my legs moving the pedals for miles and miles and miles.


When I ride, even when it's wicked hot out, I create a breeze and it feels good. I can eat and drink to refuel while I ride without it bouncing around in my stomach and making me feel sick like it does when I run. And I can coast down a hill to recover. Even though it does kind of feel like cheating.

So I don't think I can say which I like best - running or cycling. I'm just grateful that I don't have to choose.

Free Online Dating Advice - Part Two

So now that we've gone over photos, let's talk about what to say in your profile or, perhaps more importantly, what not to say. This can be tricky in a way because let's face it - everyone wants to seem cool. But the thing is, not everyone is cool. And if you aren't, it's going to be evident sooner or later so you might as well be up front about it. But don't despair - just remember that the same theory applies to you uncool people as it does to the (most unfortunate) folks out there who look like Yoda - surely out of the millions and millions of people on this orb we call earth, there must be at least one or two who will be attracted to you notwithstanding your utter lack of anything resemling cool. Granted they might not live on this continent, but hey - beggars can't be choosers. That brings us to the first rule:

Be honest (sort of). What I mean is that it's okay to put a positive spin on things, but don't outright fabricate stuff that's wholly untrue. For instance, if you've only taken one trip in your whole life and it was 9 years ago and only to Abeliene, but you enjoyed the hell out of it and are dying to go again, you can get away with saying that you "love to travel". Chicks dig that, btw. But if you have only taken one trip in your whole life and it was to Abeliene, don't say that you spent 3 mos. in the Australian outback. It's like your parents taught you - something resembling honesty is always the best policy. That means white lies are okay as long as you don't tell blatant bald-faced lies for which you can easily get caught. Your parents did teach you that, didn't they?

There are also some specific areas that are included in most profile templates, that can be difficult. Religion is one of those areas. I am amazed at the number of good-looking guys who are complete Jesus freaks and whose profiles are more preachy than the Vatican on a Sunday. If you are a complete Jesus freak, then I guess it's best to be up front about it and scare us normal people away right off the bat so we don't all waste each other's time by emailing and meeting. But if you aren't all "Footloose" and pious, it's important to make sure your profile doesn't come across as if you are. Here are some things that are likely to scare away anyone who is not a religious zealot:

- mention God more than once in your profile without the word damn adjacent to it.
- discuss the importance of Jesus in your daily life.
- discuss the importance of Jesus at all.
- divulge that you attend Church regularly.
- divulge that you attend Church at all.

Just sayin...

Another area that can be difficult to address accurately on your profile is your body type. After all, what does "slender" really mean? And, these days, isn't "average" really obese? Here are a few foolproof and accurate ways to figure out what your body type really is: Take a look at tag on the pants you wore today. If the number that corresponds to the waist size is larger than the number that corresponds to the inseam length, you are not slender. If the number of your chins exceeds either of those numbers, you are not "average", but rather what is diplomatically referred to as "thick". (You may recall your mom using the term "husky" - same difference). And just because you played soccer in high school, that does not make you "athletic" now. Look in the mirror, people. Be real.

There are certain things to avoid discussing in your profile to keep you from seeming not just uncool, but like a completely pathetic loser or a total cheeseball. Here are some of them: No matter how lonely you are or how long it has been since you last got laid, don't - and I repeat don't talk about how lonely or desperate you are on your profile. It does not make you seem sensitive and vulnerable. It makes you seem desperate and lonely, which is creepy and pathetic. Ain't nothing sexy about that, fellas. Seriously. Nothing. Keep it to yourself or tell your Dungeons and Dragons buddies, but don't put that stuff in your profile. And while it is true that most women love the idea of a romantic guy, your babbling on and on about holding hands on the beach at sunset with that someone special just makes you come across as uncreative and super cheesy. Ew.

Another big area in which you can either draw potential dates in or ward them off in a hurry is your ability to demonstrate that you can write, and therefore presumeably speak, standard english. I don't mean to sound all snooty and overeducated and elitist even though I am. And I don't know what other women do when they get emails that say, "your cute and whitty and we have alot in common. We should definately chat somemore", but I know I promptly hit the delete button and will occasionally mutter something disparaging under my breath as I do such as, "dumbass". Come on guys - it's not that we need high fallutin' multisyllabic words to be impressed. Shit, I'm impressed with anyone who knows the difference between it's and its or who can spell correctly. Hint: it's called spellchecker - use it!!! This really does matter. (Unless you're super hot and/or rich, in which case we don't give a rip whether you can spell your own name).

So in summary, just be sure to create an image of yourself that, even if not appealing, isn't completely repulsive. And keep in mind that the little things often count in a big way. (Unless you're rich and/or super hot, in which case you can say whatever you want and you'll still be appealing to all the golddigger chicks or needy women with no self esteem). So go edit your profile! What are you waiting for? You can thank me later.

More Lessons to Come...

Starting Over

I remember when I first began running. It was about 10 years ago. I lived in Madison then and I would run with my next-door neighbor 3 mornings a week before work. We ran year 'round - even when it was 20 below zero with snow on the ground and pitch black out. I secretly liked how die-hard it made me feel. We didn't go far - only about 3.5 miles each time. And I didn't know anything about running other than that it was fun and a great way to stay in shape. I didn't have a GPS to track my speed and distance or a heart rate monitor to check my zone. I just ran. At first it was really tough. I remember feeling like I was going to keel over after just a few blocks when we first started out. But then, without my even trying, I got better and faster and it got easier to breathe even as I added on more miles.

There have been times in my life when I was a pretty good runner too. Never super fast, but fast enough to feel proud and to place in my age group (well, once anyway).

And I've run pretty consistently since then and have gotten progressively more into it. Now I own a Forerunner and a Polar and I subscribe to Runners' World and Running Times and the RunTex home page is one of my favorites. I've run a billion races and for the past few years I've coached other runners. But somewhere along the way I got burned out and seem to have lost touch with the simple joy of running. I miss the days when I would just go out with my neighbor because it was fun and something I enjoyed rather than one more area of my life about which I feel pressure to excel. And the ridiculous part is that I'm the only one exerting that pressure, but I'm not sure how to lose it and just run.

My burnout caused me to cut back on my running and try some new things like climbing and rowing. And I started biking a bit more than usual. I like all those things but I still miss running. The way it used to be. Just relaxing and fun. No pressure. Now, because I haven't been running as much and also because of the recent onset of summer weather here, I'm finding it difficult to run very far, let alone fast. And it really bothers me. I know I need to just start over and go for shorter runs until naturally, over time, without my even trying, it just gets easier again. Rationally, I know it will, but I still want to just pick up where I left off since I know I was there before.

Maybe forcing myself to start over will help me get back in touch with the things about running that drew me to it in the first place. Yeah - maybe that's it. If I can just figure out how to lose the pressure and let myself start over.

Man, as powerful as a body's musculature can be, it is the brain that controls everything. It can strengthen the weak or cower the strong. I know most things come down to mind over matter, but how do we get a handle on the mind?

"Killer on a Leash"

I just walked Otis though my neighborhood. We usually don't go this late, but I didn't get him out for much exercise today and thought it might be nice to take an evening constitutional with him. We came across a guy kneeling down building something in front of his house. Otis, in his exuberantly friendly way, went up to the guy and licked his face even though he (Otis, not the guy) had a paper cup in his mouth that he had retrieved from the curb along the way.

Fortunately the guy was good natured and laughed genuinely about the whole thing. I said, "be careful - he's ferocious. Can't you tell?". And the guy said, "Oh yeah, for sure - killer on a leash." Which is pretty funny if you know Otis.

Free Online Dating Advice - Part One

Now that I've finally, albeit sheepishly, admitted that I've tried online dating, I feel compelled to offer some online dating advice to all you guys out there. Granted, these are just my own personal thoughts and opinions and you are free to take or leave them, but I highly recommend you take them. If you want a date with someone who isn't a total freak, pathetic loser, or complete idiot, that is.

Today's lesson is all about photos - whether to post and, if so, which ones.

PHOTOS: Yes - you really should post them so all the hussies can see what you look like. Let's face it (sorry 'bout the pun) - physical appearance plays a role in the whole chemistry equation. Perhaps it's shallow, but it's true. You can be brilliant, witty, compassionate, and charming as hell, but if you look like Yoda - I'm sorry - I won't go out with you. Even if you do look like Yoda, however, you should still post a photo. This great big world of ours is filled with people of all different shapes and sizes and just because I (and most women) wouldn't give you the time of day, I bet there's at least one or two women out there who are totally turned on by Yoda and will be thrilled to see you among their matches. So go for it.

Some things to consider when posting photos include the following:

* Recency - I don't care how much of a hottie you were when you were 27 if you're 53 now and have a beer gut the size of a pregnant woman who is three weeks past her due date. Please only post recent photos. That's only fair, don't you think?

* Clothing - Unless you have a serious six-pack goin' on, do not post any shirtless photos. You should wait until we know you and already like you before you expect us to do so in spite of your pasty white, hairy, squishy chest/abs. Also be aware that, even if you do have a great body, posting a shirtless photo makes you seem narcissistic. But don't let that stop you from posting a shirtless photo if you happen to have a truly hot bod. We love those pictures even if we conclude from them that you're a narcissistic prick.

* Sunglasses - Everyone looks good in sunglasses. You could be brilliant, witty, compassionate, and look like a total stud in sunglasses, but if you look like Yoda when the shades come off, I'm sorry, but I won't go out with you and I'd like to know that up front. So feel free to post a photo in which you're wearing your best pair of Oakleys, but be sure to add at least one or two where your real face is visible sans shades. After all, eyes are the windows to our soul. Whatever. Just don't be wearing sunglasses in all your photos, okay?

* Other women - Many of you post photos of yourself with other women. Some of you white out or blur the faces of these other women. Please don't do that - it's creepy and nightmare inducing. I have mixed feelings about the "other women" photos. In one sense, it's kind of lame and makes us wonder what you're trying to prove and who these other women are. Are they your sisters? wives? mothers? paid escorts? But we women tend to be a catty lot (meow!) and I have to admit that some part of me does like to see what kinds of women you hang out with. So this one is your call, but don't put your wedding photos up. That's just plain tacky. Can you say, "delete"?

* Other friends - Some of you post only one photo and it's of you with one or more of your friends. The extra friend photos are fine as long as there are at least one or two of you alone so we can tell which one is you. Imagine how awkward it would be if we only saw a group photo and guessed incorrectly which one was you. We could be emailing back and forth little flirtations and smiley faces with the person we thought was you, but really was your hot best friend. Only to find out when we finally meet you for a drink that you look like Yoda. It's called the feminine, not masculine mystique, people. Don't keep us guessing.

More lessons to come...

Online Dating - General Musings

Okay, this is really a tough one for me. I hate the whole idea of online dating. I guess, when it comes right down to it, underneath my well-educated and rational exterior, I'm just a hopeless romantic.

I want a model-hot guy with bright blue eyes, dimples, and an infectious smile who has a graduate degree in some area that will save the world, loves to travel, has at least one Lab, a great old house in central Austin, and my taste in music, who is funny and sweet and thoughtful, and who grew up with sisters (so he understands as much as can be understood about women and how to deal with our mystical (read: random) nature), to see me at the grocery store (preferably Whole Foods or Central Market) and sweep my off my feet by buying me flowers or a latte or some of those kick-ass looking ancho chocolate truffles. Or even just asking me out for a drink at the checkout line without resorting to some super cheesy pickup line.

Anyway, therein lies the problem - I'm romantic and hate the idea of online dating, but I"m also ridiculously picky and, I think, probably pretty unrealistic about what I really want or can expect.

So here goes - I admit it - I have tried online dating on and off for a while now. And I've thought a lot about the whole phenomenon in an effort to figure out why I hate it and why, in spite of my hatred of it, I continue to try it on and off. I haven't come up with all the answers, but a few things have become clear to me.

First of all, it is just plain difficult to meet quality people for dating purposes in the "real world" these days. And the older one gets, the more true that becomes. For me, most of my close friends are now married and some have kids. Or they're in serious relationships. Either way, they're not thinking much about setting me up with their friends, most of whom are probably married or in serious relationships anyway. I sure as hell wouldn't date anyone in my office; I'm not big into the bar scene; and even when I'm tempted to try to strike up a conversation with a hot guy at the water stops on Town Lake trail, I generally chicken out. (Plus I'm all sweaty and smelly and it's probably not the best time for a good first impression anyway).

And I know it's not just me. Everyone who is single talks about how it's difficult to meet quality people in the absence of online dating. And maybe the whole creation of computers has made real life meetings that much more difficult. In a way, I think it has. After all, it's a lot easier and much less risky to post a missed connection on Craig's List than to actually talk to the object of one's attraction at the time of the real world encounter. Or maybe people are just so busy now that they find it more convenient to "people shop" online than to make an effort in the real world. Hard to say, but the trend definitely seems to be toward an acceptance, if not expectation, that single people these days will at least try the online dating avenue. And I know that. So why am I still so sheepish to admit that I've tried it?

I've also come to realize that online dating is really just the opposite of "real world" dating. In the real world, if we're attracted to someone, say at the grocery store, it's all about chemistry since we know nothing about that person other than what they look like and what we can discern from other cues like what they're doing/buying/wearing/saying when we see them. But we know nothing about their personality or values or background. They could be smart and sweet and politically compatible or they could be total assholes with whom we have nothing in common. And it takes engaging with that person to determine if the substance behind the initial chemistry is appealing enough to cause us to continue our attraction. Or not.

Online dating is just the opposite. We can get a sense of whether someone is educated, liberal, outdoorsy, active, etc., but we have no idea about whether there will be any "chemistry" there until we meet in person. I guess we can weed out a lot of people who we think we wouldn't be interested in online before we ever bother meeting them. But maybe we're wrong. Maybe we'd hit it off perfectly if we met in person even though we dismiss them based only on their profile. The same is true for real life encounters. We don't take a second look at lots of people, some of whom could be soulmates if we gave them a chance. So really, online and real life dating are just opposite ends of the same thing. It's still that meeting in the middle that's determinative in either case, no?

The other thing that has become clear to me is that someone should make a documentary about the whole online dating world. I have all kinds of ideas for one, but no knowledge whatsoever of filmmaking. Which is too bad b/c my documentary would be hilarious and hugely successful.